Mom of Asperger's, ADHD child tells how life is like this. It is different than raising a typical child. It requires more support, understanding, and sharing.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Building Strengths for Builder
I am usually seeking, finding, investigating the next step, therapy, or group my son needs. But not anymore. I am looking and finding activities that suit his personality and interests. He is now eleven. Well, not really, but that is what age he tells he is to everyone he meets. I am trying to be attuned to his interests and wants. It is a teeter-totter act. I think. Negotiating with these independent thinkers, we call middle schoolers. It is the fine balance of suggestion and knowledge of your child. Some suggestions will be met with rolled eyes and an "OMG." And some will be met with a "really? cool." But it is up to us as parents to present these opportunities to our kids so they can find a strength, a stress outlet, a friend. This week it is a create and skate class...paint and individualize your skateboard. It's cool.
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I can completely relate to the balancing act and potentially precarious situation in which we put our well thought out suggestions when there seems to be so much unpredictablility to our children's responces. On the other side of that, when you feel you have finally found somthing and then it falls through, Aaagh! I wanted to tear out my hair with my oldest as she was gung-ho, over-the-top, excited about her upcomming dance class so much so that she begged for and even raised some of the money for regestration. After one class, she is now refusing to go back saying that she hated it! Now I've paid for class and I'm afraid it is a fight. I've left messages for the teacher, but have yet to have a conversation. :( I thought this one would be a sure thing as she was so excited. She will continue to go this month to see if she can adjust dispite the class not meeting her expectations. I feel she needs to know that she can't just quit and will feel better knowing that at least she tried.
ReplyDeletesounds like you did find a perfect class for him. I'm glad he thinks it's cool, that's good.
ReplyDeleteI guess, like Mel said, sometimes he may not like it. That was kind of like camp this summer I guess. One week (or was it two) was enough of that for him.
My hope is that more classes you pick fall into the cool category than anything else.
i agree 100% about finding their niche in the world - and what interests them. THAT is definitely the key. Technology is that key for our oldest teenage son with PDD-NOS, and for our youngest, who also has PDD-NOS, it is his pets and technology to a degree as well. The best thing we've done for both our boys is participating with them in 4-H programs. We have a Tech Team and a Photography club going now for our oldest, and a pet partners club for our youngest, and both are just loving the connections with their interest, while forming friendships with other like-minded kids. It's a win-win all around! Good luck to you!
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