Little Man

My recent blog was dedicated to a fellow mom in the trenches. She was/is inspiring to me. So is my youngest son. No labels, no extraordinary issues, he is what most parents have, a neurotypical child with typical developmental patterns. He is also (self-described) as kind, generous, and giving. He is. Always has been.
I used to hope and pray for a child who is like my husband. I got it. He is kind, patient, friendly and nice to all. His usual state of mind is happy.
Bounce just happens to look more like my side of the family. Not to say, he didn't get some of my traits. He did...like stubbornness, determination, or crabby when hungry. Plus, run away, when mad, sad, or tired of it all.
However, like my husband and I, he also got persevere in tough times. He sticks around and goes with the flow. He believes in the best and cries over the worst. We all do. WE ALWAYS HOPE AND PRAY. Odd, that wasn't supposed to be all caps and was. Strange. I am leaving it. Because I believe in it. However, I digress.
I asked Bounce the other day if he could handle another child who had anger issues and threw tantrums. He replied, quickly and easily, "Of course, I'm used to it." I knew what he meant. We are used to it, the perpetual unpredictability of Builder combined with the constant thought what's next? Builder is so much better than before; but still has a long way to go. His behavior can be extremely trying. But we know he doesn't mean it. He would be the first to protect us from harm. His daily antics, experiments, and outbursts? We can take it. We know how to deal with it. It is not typical for most families. It is for ours.
Bounce has long been known as "Little Man", I think he is deserving of his title.

Effective Consequences....

My husband and I are pretty right one with immediate consequences and the repreccusions they bring. They usually work. They did when we were kids. Not so much with our kids. It is very different. From the minute one. "If you chose to leave your bike out in the yard before bed, I will wake you and make sure you bring it in."
"What time will you wake me up?"
"Huh"
"Just bring your bike in."
The children of today have sense of consequences because really ther are no in today's world. Just keep on keeping on.

Sandy

When you have a child with special needs, you sit in a lot of waiting rooms. Often. Sometimes every week, sometimes all year long. While your child gets the amazing therapy he/she needs to succeed in life, you wait.
If you are like me, you could try to run one errand, try to read a book, or clean out your purse in each fifty minute slot. But, really, you can't do those actions every week. Some weeks you are so tired, you could sleep in the waiting room on the hard plastic chair. Some weeks you are so keyed up, you could easily lead a marching band through the room. Other weeks, the weather is so awful, you are just happy to sit quietly.
For the siblings of the child in therapy, you prepare. You play, you cajole, they usually meet other waiting sibs and depending on those children's social skills...you intervene and read your child a book or let your child deal with it.
Sometimes you meet another mom with the same time slot or waiting for the same group your child is attending because so is their child. If it is the latter, you have a great deal to talk about and share. It is the "free" therapy session for the moms of these unique kids.
Sometimes, you meet a mom who is meeting the daily challenges of her child with grace and magnificence. She is still smiling and making jokes. She is kind and friendly to your other children. She is interested in you, your life, and your child. She is one of the few moms who you know immediately understands your life.
She can nod in agreement with how you handled a potentially, truly, explosive moment and share back a tip of how she handled the same scene with her son. You will nod in agreement at how sometimes her husband isn't exactly on board with the latest parenting method or class.
You are amazed even your non-child experiences are the same. You have both been let go of jobs because of ill-tempered supervisors, you are the same age, she wants to become a teacher and you have been a teacher in your prior life.
She is the friend you will have over for coffee some morning or a drink some summer night. You haven't yet asked her; because every week you know how busy her schedule is and truthfully, so is yours. Se leads the entire Cub Scout troop for her child's school. She meets with her son's teachers to help them help her child. She is like you. Tireless and committed to her son and her community. She is an amazing mom that you admire. You are so glad to see her smiling, seated across from you every week in a waiting room of hard chairs.

Shockingly, Sandy passed away suddenly last week. She will be missed by so many.
This post is dedicated to Sandy Meinholz, her husband, and her son, Trevor.