Little Known Fact

It's those hazy, crazy lazy days of summer...to the parent of a child on the spectrum that means it is hours of unstructured time. OH NOOOOOO!! What other parents welcome- and even I embrace (ever so slightly) is the freedom to not be somewhere at X in the morning. Hmmmm??...the ever challenging escapade of getting out the door in the morning? Versus the still in jammies, no one has eaten and child is bored now poking his brother? For me, the ordeal to get them to school has a pay off. I'm out of the game by 9AM. After two hours of struggles, I crave silence, peace, Oprah. But, I am a sucker for summer. I just need to remember, I must structure their day and make sure they eat. Most importantly, I must run them by 9am. By that, I mean out the door early. Bike riding, walks, events- whatever it takes to keep them interested, occupied, and separated.
If I do not heed these words, I must prepare to be my child's best friend for the next 8 hours. Because, no other parents call, there are no play dates solicited, my other child has run screaming to any house other than his; however, if you have access to where the kids are you might just get Junior into a crowd of active kids. (Apologies to my fantastic mom friends who DO always include Builder and appreciate his uniqueness!).

Progress Report

Annual review time. At school, Builder has had a great year; academically and socially. It is the first year I haven't talked to the principal on a weekly basis...so I believe it. It is is wild to think of the different boy we see. Luckily the school hasn't seen any of the behaviors we have in our home. Excellent...I guess. Of course, we are thrilled to hear he is doing well. But...what's up with that? Are you kidding me??? He can hold it together there and not here...really? Apparently, this is typical of "these kids" to quote a favored doc of mine. He hears that all the time. Kids are fine at school and at home they are a challenge. OK...so, this explains why other moms say how nice, sweet, and kind our kids are and gently offer advice on how to handle them. Raising my eyebrows and tilting my head, I always just nod and say yeahhh... What I should do is hand out passes to the nightly show that is most likely going to occur that evening at dusk. Apparently, the show must go on if that is what it takes for the release of the enormous pressure these children feel to keep it together for eight hours. As parents, we are ringmasters, tiger tamers, and high wire walkers.

Intensity and Frequency

These little words explain the difference between other kids and my kid. When Builder was five, I would go to Mom parties and try to get some other mom to help me understand why my child acted the way he did. Well, they would just laugh at my latest stories of madness and mayhem; then share one of their own little darling's equally as naughty anecdotes. However, the difference was, they were still smiling and laughing. Not me, I was exhausted, frustrated, and sitting in the aisles of the library for hours trying to figure out this enigma I called son. Yeah, son of a gun?! I just didn't get it. How come they could handle all these situations and monkey business? Well...not until completing some parent quizzes and interviews did I realize there is a professional term for this anarchy. Intensity and Frequency. Yes...every single parent on the planet has amusing "my child drives me crazy!" stories. But only the select few of us with children with special needs have the "NO, really my kid IS driving me crazy." We have the singular insanity of dealing with arguments about most everything, coupled with whatever major mess has been made, topped off with at least one to two tantrums a day. Then, don't forget the incredible difficult food menu and sincere disagreement to most clothing options. Intensity and frequency. Remembering those word just might keep you sane.javascript:void(0)