Understanding

One of the issues parents face when they are dealing with their child's issues is who, what, and how to help with the current situations. All potential help options costs lots of dollars. Primarily, not reimbursed from insurance. Yet, the child still needs the recommended therapies.
We have investigated and done most of the available ones out there. At this point in the game, I find it ironic, experts still feel like they know what is best for my child. They are convinced there is an easy or doable fix. I also find it a whole lot disheartening to me, as the mom.
I have spent the better part of the last eight years of my life trying to figure out my child. I know him. I know what works and what doesn't. In the old days, I never took it personally when someone was trying to help us. As my step-mom and I agreed, no stone unturned, until we figured this out. So, our wallets were emptied via occupational therapy, psychological therapy, psychiatric therapy, neuropathy, vision therapy, social skills, and IEPs. Many of those therapies helped Builder, some helped me, some of that money would have been spent at the track for all the good it did.
Now, I am much more discriminating. We cannot afford to go down the ineffective path, emotionally, financially, or behaviorally. It is too uncharted and precarious.
There is a hard fact many people don't know. The therapists are befuddled by these unorthodox children. They have never before seen a situation like ours. Thus, we, as parents, get blamed. Shamed. Scolded. We happen to have another child living in our home, one year younger. He is a typical child. Way easier, not perfect, but doesn't need interventions. He just needs compassion and understanding of the brother and home life he has. So do his parents.

Mom's Away, Boys Will Play

I am gone for three whole days and I know my boys are celebrating. All of them. Finally, there will be no one asking why X,Y, and Z are not done. And wondering when the P, Q, and R will be finished, so we can all enjoy some M and Ms.
I admit, I am all about having dinners in a timely manner, homework done, laundry put away, and bedtime early. Why? Because our children, mainly Builder needs a structured, predictable environment. He also needs an on-time bedtime and limited amounts of sugar. I am not kidding when I say, well he's acting this way because he is super tired and super-sugared. He didn't get enough sleep.
I am the mom and I take the fall for most things. Why is the reading log never done? Where is that gym shirt? Why can't we have a bag of marshmallows for dinner? I am the resident buzz-kill. I am OK with it. Mostly. I say No, I ask Why, What are your plans for that pocket knife, and I say I Don't Think So. Well, until I am gone. Out of town on a a much needed girls' weekend. My only thought at the end of the day is, I hope they are home safe, put sunscreen on, and brushed their teeth. I fall asleep probably only one of those ideals have been met.