Ransacked!

Yesterday a man came to the front door selling meat from a minivan. Suspicious? Definitely. Coming from a long line of neighborhood crime fighters...I immediately called the police to report the incident. A young officer arrived and began to gather the details of the event. He told me it was possible they were planning a "rouse robbery". One man occupies the owner at the front door; while the other man slips in unnoticed at another door. Well, we have lots of doors usually unlocked and often wide open. Builder tends not to bother with minor details like closing doors. I was fairly certain the second man didn't enter my house; but the officer felt strongly I needed to make certain nothing valuable was missing. I had already checked the garage because of course that had been open. Which is where the problem starts.
The garage has become another domain for Builder's projects. Pink Styrofoam litters the floor from the latest hovercraft design. Chicken wire on the ground from a crayfish trap built 3 months ago. Tools and nails are piled up on makeshift tables. Plus the bikes, kites, and hockey gear are squished in with all of Builder's project remnants. It was impossible to tell if anything was missing! The golf clubs and bikes were still there so I decided it was fine.
As I returned to the house to check my purse and bedroom. I viewed the house as a burglar would....Yikes! As I well know, my purse is virtually impossible to find. Coupled with the fact my wallet never has cash, it would be a bust. The rest of the rooms are covered with Builder's indoor projects. The latest: plastic Porsche model, duct tape pet carriers, fabric sleeping bags sewn for rats, electrical modifications to three remote control cars that have been disassembled. Every table, couch, and floor is covered with his projects' debris. HE NEVER CLEANS UP AFTER HIMSELF. EVER.
The kitchen has the refrigerator door wide open, bread and cheese, often a stick of butter melting into soup. On this particular morning the boys had taken the drawers out of their dressers and left them all over their room. That means they placed them on unmade beds and a combination clean folded laundry and muddy clothes.
I can count my valuable jewelry on one hand and have hidden it so thoroughly I haven't been able to find it for over a year. If I was a burglar, I would have high-tailed it outta my house so fast. This place has already been thoroughly ransacked!